Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
