So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
