he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm too high and old for this...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
