The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
