hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
