i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
