The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
