I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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