WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
