i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
