guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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