Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
