There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
