I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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