Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
