dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My bed smells like the plague
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
