another moral hangover. fuck.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Randomize
