How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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