I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
