apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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