She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
