It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
