I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
