Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
