We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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