i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
