I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
