K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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