I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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