guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
