Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
