She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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