you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
