I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
