2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
