We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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