Small penises have feelings too.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
