Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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