I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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