For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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