I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
