Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
