as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
