She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
