well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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