THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
