Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
