My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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