Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
