And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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