i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I still have a little drunk in my system
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
