Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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